


5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ...

by rebeccastceir



Series: An End. A Beginning.  - MOOD BOARD [10]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Comfort No Hurt, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, I Love You, M/M, Other Ways To Use A Grounding Technique, can't sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27633776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccastceir/pseuds/rebeccastceir
Summary: Hanzo straddled Jesse’s hips with his knees and sat in the cowboy’s lap."Name four things you can feel," Hanzo instructed. "You can touch me if you want. I don’t mind.”Jesse rested his hands low and outside on Hanzo’s thighs. “Your sweatpants,” he said instantly. “Uh. Your gi. I thought you said it wasn’t a bathrobe?”Hanzo grinned. “It’s whatever I want it to be. Two more things.”“Um.” Jesse took a deep breath and looked around again. “The couch.”“Good,” Hanzo approved. He leaned forward to nibble on Jesse's ear. “One more thing.”“That.” Jesse’s eyes closed instantly, and he sagged into the touch.
Relationships: Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, McHanzo
Series: An End. A Beginning.  - MOOD BOARD [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002075
Comments: 6
Kudos: 133





	5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ...

**Author's Note:**

> damn, can I just say how much it pleases me that the title font gets smaller as it counts down??

It was the wee hours of the morning when someone banged on Hanzo’s door. He rolled over in bed, groaning. “Who’zit?”

Athena chimed quietly. “Agent McCree.”

“Let him in,” Hanzo sighed, rubbing his eyes.

The door opened, and Jesse stepped in immediately. Then he stopped. “Oh. Sorry. I’ll just, uh -” he turned to leave.

“Stop,” Hanzo ordered.

Jesse stopped dead. 

_Skittish_ , Hanzo frowned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes while he tried to figure out what had spooked him. Oh, right. Hanzo slept naked. He pulled the blanket up over himself as he sat up, and looked at Jesse. “What is wrong?” he yawned. “Why are you up so late?”

Jesse nervously scrubbed his palm down his thigh. “Uhh…’s just… I dunno… Can’t sleep.”

“And you came to _me_?” Hanzo frowned. 

Jesse swallowed. “You’re right. Bad idea. I’ll - I’m - sorry, I’ll just -” He made to leave again.

“Stop,” Hanzo ordered again. 

Jesse stopped.

Hanzo relented, rubbed a hand over his face. “Let me dress.” He climbed out of bed.

Jesse’s face scrunched up immediately, as he tried to find some place safe to look.

The sudden shyness was endearing, if Hanzo’d been more awake for it. “You can close your eyes if that helps,” he said, amused.

“Really doesn’t,” Jesse said. He chewed a lip, his eyes finally settling on one corner of the ceiling. 

Hanzo patted his shoulder on the way to the bathroom. “Go wait in the common room. I’ll be there in two minutes.”

“Right.” Jesse bolted.

 _Crazy cowboy_. This wasn’t the first time the Jesse’d woken him in the middle of the night, but he seemed particularly skittish this time and Hanzo had a feeling he knew what it was about, even if Jesse couldn’t put it into words. He used the bathroom, pulled on his base-issued sweatpants, socks against the cold floor, and wrapped himself up in his gi, then wandered down to the common room. The hallways were dim at this late hour, and Athena brightened them only subtly as he passed. It was meant not to disturb his sleep/wake cycle more than it already was, and he appreciated the thoughtfulness of her programming.

He found Jesse waiting for him in the blazing-bright common room, and squinted, instructing Athena to dim the lights by 80% before he joined Jesse on the couch. 

And by ‘joined’, he straddled Jesse’s hips with his knees and sat in the cowboy’s lap. 

“Name five things you can see,” Hanzo instructed quietly, folding his arms across his chest. 

“Uhh,” Jesse’s eyes darted around nervously. “Aintcha gonna ask why I can’t sleep?”

“Do I need to?” Hanzo asked. “Name five things. You can include me, if you like.”

“’S kinda hard, now ya turned off all the lights.”

“I know,” Hanzo agreed, still calm. “Do it anyway.”

Jesse didn’t seem to know where to put his hands. Hanzo watched his face flicker as he looked around. “Uh…Uh…You. Uh, the couch... The, uh…the other couch… The coffee table. Uh, the chair.”

“Good. Name four things you can feel. You can touch me if you want. I don’t mind.”

Jesse very tentatively rested his hands low and outside on Hanzo’s thighs. “Your sweatpants,” he said instantly. “Uh. Your gi. I thought you said it wasn’t a bathrobe?” His fingertips crept to the bottom of it, rubbing the silky hem between his fingers.

Hanzo grinned. “It’s whatever I want it to be. Name two more things that you can touch.”

“Um.” Jesse took a deep breath and looked around again. “The couch.” His other hand dropped to rub the upholstery.

“Good,” Hanzo approved. He ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair, combing it back from his face, let his fingertips rub into the back of Jesse’s scalp. “One more thing.”

“That.” Jesse’s eyes closed instantly, and he sagged into the touch. “Feels good.”

“Good.” Hanzo smiled approvingly. He kept his hand in Jesse’s hair, gentle and soothing. “Name three things you can hear. You can include me as well.” He leaned forward to nibble on Jesse’s ear.

“Ummm…” The hesitation turned into a hum, Jesse’s fingertips dancing on his thighs before settling down, palms running upward. Hanzo could feel the pulse pounding beneath Jesse’s skin, hear the way Jesse’s voice husked. “Yer voice. My voice. Uh…Athena, when she beeps, does that count?” 

“Mm-hmm.” Hanzo’s other hand rested on Jesse’s biceps, supporting himself. Felt Jesse’s hand come up to his elbow to help, other hand sliding up Hanzo’s thigh to his hip. Hanzo nudged kisses into his throat, below the beard. He liked the stubble. “Name two things you can smell.”

Jesse really had to focus, and not on what Hanzo was doing. “Umm.” He tried to calm his own breathing, to breathe deep. “Um…I think your - I think your -” he shook his head. “I can’t tell if it’s cologne or-or-or soap, or… but it smells like some kind a' flower.”

“Jasmine,” Hanzo hummed. He loved the way Jesse smelled. “I burned a scented candle earlier. One more thing.”

Jesse breathed deeply, closing his eyes. “I think - I think…burned popcorn? From earlier?”

“Good,” Hanzo approved, smiling, sitting back a little. “Name one thing you can taste.”

Jesse licked his lips nervously.

Hanzo kissed him. 

Jesse leaned into the kiss as if his life depended on it.

Hanzo broke it after a few seconds. “One thing to taste.”

“You,” Jesse said immediately. He kissed him again, harder, his fingers curling into the back of the gi, pulling Hanzo closer. Hanzo’s hands on Jesse’s shoulders slid around the back of his neck, fingers rubbing tiny strokes against his hairline. Jesse purred, there was no other word for it, and Hanzo felt whatever tension either of them were carrying melt away. He let his fingers keep rubbing, let Jesse deepen the kiss, let his mouth open, drawing him -

Jesse started back. “What is that?”

“Tongue stud,” Hanzo grinned, and stuck his flattened tongue out to show him. 

Jesse stared at it, mesmerized.

“You’ve never kissed anyone who had one?”

Jesse shook his head. 

“Mm,” Hanzo smiled. “One new thing to feel, then.” He kissed him again, and this time Jesse opened immediately, his tongue pushing forward to meet Hanzo’s. Hanzo took it slow, stroking Jesse’s tongue with the stud, felt and heard the way Jesse surrendered to it, his little noises, the way his hands pulled Hanzo that little bit closer. They kissed for several long minutes, until Hanzo drew back, cupping Jesse’s face in his hands. “Feeling better?” he murmured. 

Jesse nodded, pupils blown wide, looking content and startled at the same time. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Hanzo smiled, brushing his cheek. “The counting technique is one I learned as a child. I have used it many times when I feel overwhelmed. In the middle of the night…” he shrugged, and smirked a little, “I thought I might give you something _else_ to focus on.”

Jesse nodded. One hand came back to rest on Hanzo’s thigh - much higher this time, Hanzo was pleased to note - and he rubbed it self-soothingly. “I think it worked.”

Hanzo smiled. “I am glad.” And he genuinely was. He could feel the difference in Jesse now. If he had ulterior motives, well… who could blame him? They had been friends for over a year now. Hanzo could tell it was time. He inched a bit closer, let his fingers stroke the back of Jesse’s neck, rubbing down into the muscles around his shoulders, the top of his chest. “I feel like you should know - the dragons think you smell and taste _amazing_ , and I am finding it very difficult to explain to them why I have not been kissing you every second of the day.”

Jesse’s eyes widened. Then amusement worked its way up out of their depths, followed by a certain smug playfulness. A smirk curled his lips. “Jus’ the dragons, huh?”

Hanzo’s grin deepened and he shrugged. “I did not say I _object_ to the idea.”

Jesse snickered and leaned in again, tugging Hanzo with him as he sank back into the couch. Hanzo’s arms slid around Jesse’s neck, elbows driving into the couch cushions to keep himself propped up. 

“I think -” Jesse said between kisses “- they have the right idea.”

Hanzo hummed with satisfaction. “It _is_ one of their better ones.”

“They have sum’thin’ even better’n this?” 

Hanzo hummed again, and kept kissing. 

Eventually he could feel Jesse getting drowsy, let him break the kiss, let his lips travel down Jesse’s jaw while his hand cupped his other cheek. He found a spot on Jesse’s neck, just below and behind his ear, let his fingers stroke into his hair again. He felt Jesse’s breathing lighten, felt it evening out. 

“I think,” Jesse drawled softly, his hands finally settling on Hanzo’s hips. “I’m ‘bout t’ go t’ sleep, darl’n.”

Hanzo pressed soft kisses to the corner of his jaw, nuzzling in closer. “You are welcome to do so in my room,” he offered quietly.

“Don’ think t’sa good idea, sug’r,” Jesse slurred. 

His head was sagging back against the couch, and Hanzo let him go. He sat up, combing the hair out of Jesse’s face again, stroking his cheek. _He_ would enjoy it very much, having this cowboy asleep in his bed. For months now, he had noticed Jesse sinking into his orbit whenever he needed comfort, seeking him out before he sought anyone else, and for months now Hanzo had found himself doing the same. And now? Now that he had put Jesse to sleep with nothing but kisses? He wanted to sit in his lap or lay beside him for hours, just watching him sleep, wanted to fall asleep beside him, wanted to wake up with him, knowing he was still there. 

“Why is it not a good idea?” Hanzo murmured, his fingers caressing, pressing soft kisses to Jesse’s cheeks and nose.

Jesse’s answer was nearly lost in a contented snore. “W’nna ‘njoy ‘t…”

Hanzo smiled and kissed his cheek once more. He tucked his arms between them, and scooted down, putting his head on Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse shifted a bit, his hands flexing and tightening on Hanzo’s hips, cheek searching for and settling on the top of Hanzo’s head. 

Hanzo woke a few hours later to the soft noises of someone in the kitchen. He recognized immediately where he was, what the implications were if anyone had seen them. He sat up, taking stock. Jesse was still dead to the world. It sounded like Angela in the kitchen. Angela could be relied on not to have noticed them at all - she often slept in her medical wing, which connected to the living areas from the other side of the kitchen. When she slept in her own room she slept hard, and woke heavily, not really ‘waking up’ for several more hours. Hanzo slid off Jesse’s lap, careful not to disturb him. The loss of body heat made Jesse stir, and Hanzo took off his gi and draped in over him again. Jesse settled almost instantly. Hanzo smiled, and slipped back down the hall to his own room. 

Jesse knocked on his door about an hour later, looking sleep-stunned and hesitant, Hanzo’s gi in his hands. “Uhm, here.” He held it out. 

Hanzo took it with a smile. “Thank you. Did you sleep well?”

Jesse nodded. His hair was a mess. Hanzo reached up and ran his fingers through it, trying to tidy it. “Yeah. It was…” He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands, now that they were empty. Didn’t seem to know what to do with himself at all, now that Hanzo had taken the gi back. _Correction_ , Hanzo decided with a smile. He looked like he knew _exactly_ what he wanted to do, and didn’t quite dare - 

Hanzo tossed the gi aside and drew Jesse in by the hand, let the door shut, then put his arms around his neck and pressed kisses to his lips. “Name five things you can see,” he murmured.

“You,” Jesse replied instantly, arms tightening around him, deepening the kisses. “You. _Youyouyou_.”

“Four things you can touch.”

Jesse answer was his hands - cradling Hanzo’s head, one pressed between his shoulder blades, sliding to the small of his back, holding his hips. 

“Three thi-”

Jesse hummed, he gasped and he whimpered, as Hanzo’s kisses stroked him with the tongue stud. 

“Two -”

Jesse picked him up, Hanzo’s legs around his hips, and carried him to the bed.

“One.”

Jesse fell forward, catching himself on his elbows. 

His whiskey-amber eyes looked deep into Hanzo’s for a minute, and there was something in them Hanzo hadn’t seen before, which he instantly claimed for himself. “I love you,” Jesse said quietly. “I have for a long time. Since the day we met. I din’t want to, at first. Cuz a’ Genji. Was kinda mad about it, for a while. But I did anyway.”

Hanzo smiled, running his fingers through Jesse’s hair again, stroking his cheeks, delighting in the feel of him, in being _able_ to feel. “I have loved you as well. For just as long, and for many of the same reasons.”

“Yeah?” Jesse lit up, and Hanzo met him for another kiss. “Why din’t we know about this sooner?”

“Because we needed to be friends, first,” Hanzo smiled. 

“What are we now?” Jesse asked, his fingers running up into Hanzo’s hair, seeming to delight in the feel of it, just as much as Hanzo had enjoyed combing his. His lips traveled down Hanzo’s jaw, down the corner of his neck, until they found that spot beneath his ear that made Hanzo’s whole body curl with delight. The only ones, Hanzo decided, he ever wanted in that spot, ever, _ever_ again. 

“Now?” Hanzo grinned as Jesse held him tight, as he felt happiness bubbling out of his chest. “Now we get to be _everything_ else.”

**Author's Note:**

> The counting thing is a real grounding technique, useful during an anxiety attack, or when generally feeling overwhelmed or in sensory overload. I've used it myself a few times, and so has my mom. Count: 5 things to See, 4 to Touch, 3 to Hear, 2 to Smell, 1 to Taste. 
> 
> Obviously, you should not sit in someone's lap in those situations unless they specifically ask you to. I tried to make it clear Jesse *wasn't* having an anxiety attack, and simply couldn't sleep because he wanted to spend more time with Hanzo, even if he wasn't consciously aware of that. I also tried to make it clear that Hanzo *knew* he wasn't having an anxiety attack, and was simply using the technique for flirty shenanigans.


End file.
